Harv's Metro Car Wash in midtown Sacramento does a pretty fair job of things in the normal course of business.
Clean your car?
Vacuum your carpets?
Hot wax?
No problem.
Like most car washes in metro areas, it draws a wide variety of clientele, from homeless folks seeking a handout to executives spiffing up their Benzes.
Wednesday was different.
Two official looking guys in a dark car in dark suits with dark sunglasses showed up looking for the owner.
Never a good thing in the movies, and usually equally bad in real life.
"They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending," says Harv's owner, Aaron Zeff.
Gangsters?
Mafia?
Close.
Turns out they were IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent taxes.
And they weren't kidding around.
They had all the official paperwork and all the official notifications.
Most people would be a bit worried when the IRS showed up at their business, but Mr. Zeff knew better.
He told them he'd never been told he owed any taxes and that he's never incurred any late-payment penalties in the four years he's owned Harv's.
In fact, he provided them with an Oct. 22, 2009, letter from the IRS that states Harv's "has filed all required returns and addressed any balances due."
But the IRS agents weren't impressed.
Nor deterred.
They had an official IRS order that had caused them to make a personal collection call to the car wash.
The official IRS order they handed Mr. Zeff showed the amount of money owed to the feds was ... 4 cents.
Inexplicably, the IRS order also showed penalties and taxes accruing on the debt – stemming from the 2006 tax year – were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv's with an obligation of $202.35.
Remember, Mr. Zeff had already provided them with a 2009, letter from the same IRS that states Harv's "has filed all required returns and addressed any balances due."
In other words, not only did the IRS say he owed them nothing, that same IRS sent two agents in an official car all the way over to the car wash to seize less than $250 that he didn't owe.
Zeff, who also owns local parking lots and is the president of the Midtown Business Association, finds the situation a bit comical.
"It's hilarious," he says, "that two people hopped in a car and came down here for just 4 cents.
I think (the IRS) may have a problem with priorities."
This would be just a weird, almost funny story, except for the fact that Zeff now has to go fight the IRS over the four cents and $202.31 in interest and penalties he doesn't owe.
And that the amount continues to accrue interest and penalties daily.
Legal and accounting costs, plus lost time for Zeff to deal with the issue also come into play.
All because the IRS either can't read or doesn't believe its own correspondence.
Which I guess should come as no surprise, since every piece of IRS correspondence regarding taxes since 2005 contains the following disclaimer:
"The advice contained in this communication was not intended or written to be relied upon or used and cannot be used for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed by the Internal Revenue Service."
Obviously, as in most parts of the government, logic doesn't enter into the equation.
Now if you think this story is absurd (unfortunately, it's all true), just wait until you see their health care plan.
It will clean a lot more than just your car.
It will clean a lot more than just your car.
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." ---- P. J. O'Rourke
"It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself." ----
Thomas Jefferson
